Pretend Reality

Well there was just not one extra minute yesterday. No kidding. So, rather than just throw in the towel because I missed one day, I'm writing again today. Cause that's what skinny people do, that's why.

I'm not skinny, not by a long shot. In fact, I think I get fatter by the second. Whoops, there I go again.

But even though I feel fatter than I've ever been, I can still act like a skinny person. I can pretend.

And that means exercising, drinking water, eating smaller portions, choosing to skip dessert. It means all that and more.

So I'll keep pretending. 'Cause by pretending, I just might change my reality.

Decreasing in make-believe,
Aileen

Little bits

I did a little bit right today. I exercised--45 minutes on the elliptical. I drank lots of water. I had a smoothie for lunch, packed with fruits. I chose not to give into the temptation to overeat when that was precisely what I wanted to do.

But I have a long, long way to go to get my eating habits in line. Except, wait. I'm not sure that's really true. To reset my eating habits, I need to eat right the next time I eat. I can really do this just one meal at a time. I don't, today, have to eat right every day from now on. No. I just have to eat right for the next meal.

I think I can do that. I'm sure I can.

Decreasing one spark at a time,
Aileen

Fitness sparked

Today I taught not one, not two, but three fitness classes. The first one was a step class and I did a truly awful job. The class did not complain too much though, and I think we all got our heart rates up at least. The middle one was senior fitness--not too difficult. The last one, though, was muscle pump. I logged 110 minutes on the fitness tracker; I probably did more than that, but I was being conservative in my estimates.

Anyway it felt good to work out really hard today. I haven't worked out like that in well over a year. I'm thankful that I could still survive it.

These small steps are totally working for me. I just have to keep taking them. So far, so good.

Sparking right along,
Aileen

Sparking right along

So this website, www.sparkpeople.com, is totally awesome. totally. Okay, so don't tell anyone, but I am a bit fond of computer games. And Spark, when you get a certain number of points, you get a little virtual trophy! Love it. How do you get points? By achieving your goals and logging in--recording your accomplishments. Sick, maybe, but this accumulation of points, this awarding of trophies: I like it.

When I was in Weight Watchers, I loved getting my weekly stickers. Loved it. This is kinda the same thing. sweet.

Little bitty goals--that's what this program is all about. This week, I'm to write in my journal daily (that's you), exercise for 10 minutes a day, and drink 8 glasses of water. I can do that. Me, I need to feel successful in order to succeed. Achieving these itty bitty goals helps me feel accomplished and thus empowers me to achieve more. Nice.

Not really decreasing, but not so much increasing either.
Aileen

Restarting with a Spark

So I joined sparkpeople.com today to try to get myself on track. It's a great site. It urges you to set 3 goals in different categories to get started. One of mine is "write in a journal daily." So, here we go.

I truly must like my problems. At least I won't do what is necessary to solve them. It frustrates me that I'm caught in this crux: don't like the problem/don't like the solution either. What I would like is the result of the solution: a healthier weight, a more controlled life, increased longevity. Maybe that's where my focus needs to be--not on self denial, but on these benefits.

And yes, I know i've said that before. But I'm saying it again because I have to remind myself. Habits--good ones--are slow in forming.

Always starting over,
Aileen