Confessions of a Disgusted Dieter.

It's embarrassing. I do so well for so long and then I so totally blow it. I'm disgusted with myself. And the truth is I'm definitely not back on track yet.

I am exercising. I'm doing that right. I'm drinking water, too. So that's two things. But I'm eating like a fool, a complete and utter fool.

And when I do this, I start looking at radical solutions: the diet pills, the fat wraps, the extreme food plans. It's crazy. I don't actually give in to the "get thin quick" schemes. I know they are lying. I just like to listen every now and then and to allow myself to believe the hype. It's a lovely fantasy: take this pill, be thin tomorrow. I grown faint from the attraction of it.

But WHAT a waste of emotional energy. I could just eat right. Then I could have real results rather than the fantasy figure I've been swooning over in the diet foods aisle.

At times like these, I forget that I'm most free when I am in control. I forget that I feel most content when I am not satiated. I forget all that and I fall back into the familiar habits that got me here in the first place.

Disgusting.

So, no promises. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe I'll do one additional thing right. We'll see.

Knowing I must decrease, fighting the urge to increase,
Aileen